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PRESS ARTICLE -
DURSLEY GAZETTE - 30th DECEMBER 2005
KEEP YOUR NEW YEAR'S
RESOLUTIONS
Why will so many of us start 2006
with fantastic New Year's resolutions yet within days or weeks have
given up on them totally? Sure, we may manage to keep the odd resolution
during our lifetime but for most it is a losing battle. Deborah Parker,
a life coach from Dursley, says she can dramatically increase your
chances of keeping those resolutions.
An objective point of view is what life coach Deborah Parker wants to
offer her neighbours in Dursley.
Mrs Parker, 37, moved to Dursley in August and is hoping to provide a
new service to local people.
Despite being met with some scepticism over her line of work Mrs Parker
believes people will feel the benefits of life coaching after just one
session. She said "people find it very relaxing to just come along and
talk freely with a third party. Our friends and family are brilliant at
offering advice but they will still have an agenda. An objective point
of view however: can really help people sort things out."
Mrs Parker decided to become a life coach four years ago after 11 years
in financial services. She said "The only part of the job I enjoyed was
developing people's potential so I set about finding a job where I could
do that without the financial bit. I did start to train as a counsellor
but that focused on trauma and the down side of life. Life coaching
seemed to be just right. I am able to help people with relationships and
self esteem issues."
Mrs Parker lives in Dursley with her husband Alex and their four month
old son Ace.
The family chose Dursley as a place to set up home because of the
community feel it offers. Mrs Parker said "We were living in Bristol but
it is such a busy place with people rushing around. Dursley on the other
hand has much more of a community feel, people are warm and chatty."
Consider why people make resolutions. It is usually because there is
some aspect of their lives that they want to change for the better.
However; instead of focusing on the great benefits they will achieve by
making this change, they focus on what they are giving up and so fail.
It is important to concentrate on the positive results and the value
this will add to your life and not what you are missing out on. Mrs
Parker also offers some pointers about why so many people struggle to
make their changes. There are two main reasons. The first is that they
try and change the habits of a lifetime overnight, this abrupt shift is
very difficult for the mind and body to work with, potentially creating
"cold turkey" (pardon the pun) like symptoms. The second is that they
attempt to do it alone. The inspiration and support of a non-judgmental
third party can be the difference between getting the results you want
and not.
Many coaching clients believe thinking about the resolution is enough to
kick start the process. Apparently we are four times more likely to
achieve our goals if we write them down and 10 times more likely to
succeed if we regularly review them. However, you do need to take action
and this is where a lot of people fall down. The real reason for
inactivity is not a lack of will power but the lack of a strong enough
reason to follow through. The important thing is to spend time exploring
the real reasons for change and what motivates people to really go for
it. Then you must look at the steps needed to achieve success whilst
providing that essential support and accountability along the way.
Some further pointers to success are to be realistic and ensure that any
new activities are enjoyable and fit in with your existing life style
with only minimal modification. If the changes are substantial the
reasons will have to be too. And finally, the journey of success should
be as enjoyable as the end result. Remember; you can start work on a new
solution to your life any time. The power of personal change is too good
to be limited to the first few days of the year and it really is
possible to keep every resolution without fail.
RADIO INTERVIEW -
23RD JUNE 2003
BBC RADIO
BRISTOL WITH SUSAN OSMAN - DREAMS CAN COME
TRUE
Susan:
I've got with me here in the studio this morning Deborah Parker from
Bristol who's a Life Coach and also a mentor for the Prince's Trust.
Good morning to you Deborah.
Deborah:
Good morning.
Susan:
This life coach business it seems to be on the increase does this mean
that we're wanting our dreams to come true more or we're just looking
for more people to help us?
Deborah:
I think there's a clearer recognition these days that it isn't just
about getting up going to work, coming home and watching the television
and then repeating that activity 5 times. People want a lot more from
life now than they ever used to and they can actually see a way of
achieving it more clearly I think.
Susan:
So how do you help them?
Deborah:
I work with people individually either face to face or over the
telephone. We'll sit down and work out a plan of action for how they're
going to get where they want to go, but for a lot of people they don't
even know where they want to go so you have to establish that first of
all. So we'll work through a lot of exercises and questioning techniques
to get them to see things differently.
Susan:
And what sort of dreams have you made come true? What sort of success
have you had so far?
Deborah:
One I'm particularly proud of is a lady in her fifties and she came to
me with almost a hatred of men. She felt that she would never find an
ideal partner. Over a period of three months we actually dealt with the
issues that were behind all of that because that was the key really to
get her to see things slightly differently and now she's happily living
with her partner and talking about getting married.
Susan:
My goodness that is a big change.
Deborah:
Fabulous yes!
Susan:
So do you act as not a therapist as such but a counsellor over the
phone?
Deborah:
Well there is a distinct difference really between counseling and
coaching. I did train partially as a counsellor first but counselling is
more reflective and tends to look back over what has happened in your
life and why, where as coaching is about looking forward, thinking
positively and actually making some significant steps towards your
future rather than reflecting too much on what's gone.
Susan:
How did you help this lady then?
Deborah:
We dealt with her over the telephone and basically we look first of all
a little bit at her background and how she had built up this belief that
all men were awful and that she could never have a significant
relationship. Then we started to break down some of those ideas that she
was holding strongly because obviously all men aren't awful and there
are lovely men out there and men that were perfect for her. We had to
break down these barriers and beliefs that she carried so closely.
Susan:
What other dreams have you helped come true?
Deborah:
I've helped people to get promotion in work, I've helped people to
emigrate and I've helped people to write a short story, to write a book.
I've helped a lady put together a dance company and put on performances
where before she didn't have the confidence.
Susan:
I'm interested in this promotion idea, how do you get people promoted,
because presumably you don't know their boss?
Deborah:
No exactly! We work with people's strengths and have a look at what they
are good at and break it down into the significant components. It's very
much about focusing on the positives and just being consciously aware of
your negatives but pushing them to one side. If you can bolster your
strengths and work on your skills you will just be perceived in a much
stronger, more positive light.
Susan:
But then how does that make your boss see you that way because you can't
control everything can you?
Deborah:
No but you can indirectly influence people. One thing that I tell all of
my clients is that the only person you can have any control over is
yourself and quite often when you start to talk people about the
behaviours they are displaying with their boss or with their work
colleagues there can be a lot of negative behaviours in there that are
actually destructive and holding them back. So if we can break those
down and take those away and get the boss to see them in a much more
positive, open and receptive light, all bosses want to feel that their
subordinates are open to new ideas, receptive, positive and thinking on
a similar wavelength and it isn't always the case.
Susan:
But what if you've a got a boss who doesn't seem to like you and that's
clearly reciprocated and you've got a difficult relationship, you might
dream of promotion but there's no way you're boss is going to let you be
promoted?
Deborah:
Well interestingly I have had one of these scenarios recently with a
girl who was just hitting a brick wall with her boss over the 12 months.
We sat down and we looked at how she was behaving towards her boss and
she was behaving very defensively, bordering on aggressively at times.
And this was then reciprocated by the manager. It is almost irrelevant
who started the process of this negative spiral but ultimately she can
actually turn that around. She has taken it upon herself to choose a new
attitude every morning when she gets up for work.
Susan:
I see so by changing her attitude the boss then sees her differently?
Deborah:
And in one significant movement that actually happened.
Susan:
Aren't you giving people false hope though Deborah that their dreams are
going to come true by having a few conversations with you? Can you
always deliver?
Deborah:
No, absolutely not there is a coachability questionnaire that I
sometimes undertake with people where we don't seem to be making any
progress because often people will come to a coach hoping they are going
to be the cure. That they're going to wave a magic wand and make it all
OK. All we can do is actually provide some of the structure and focus,
but they do have to do the "doing" themselves.
Susan:
What about the emigration how did you help there?
Deborah:
Well we basically started off with what was their ultimate dream, their
aspiration. We broke it down into tiny little steps to work out where
they are now and where they want to go. It was a very gradual process.
Susan:
I know a lot of people dream of having a holiday home abroad or living
abroad. That seems quite a common dream, is that right?
Deborah:
Yes it is.
Susan:
Is that the most common dream that people have?
Deborah:
It's one of the common ones. I guess it kicks in usually for a lot of
people in their thirties prior to that they're quite happy here, but all
of a sudden they think wouldn't it be nice to live in a warmer climate
all year round, with a calmer more relaxed atmosphere. It is isn't
always financially possible for people to make that jump straight away
although they probably just would. But what we can do is help them work
out a way of getting closer to that goal. It may take them a year 5
years 10 years, or they may have to wait until they retire but if
they're making significant steps in the right direction people feel a
lot more positive when they know they are making steps towards their
ultimate goal.
Susan:
A lot of people want to retire earlier as well that seems to be another
common factor, are you able to help that and how would you do that?
Deborah:
Yes again a lot of this comes down to money, we have to be practical,
you have to have significant finances behind you so that's what we have
to try and build. Either we reduce their outgoings so that they can
afford to retire early or we increase their income and then it's just a
straight forward case of working out these two options and preferably
both.
Susan:
I read somewhere you wrote "Are you a dream catcher or a dream stealer?"
tell us about that.
Deborah:
Most of us have dreams and aspirations things that we would like to
achieve and a lot of us can hold those ideas for 5 or 10 years and not
actually do anything with them. From time to time we will throw those
dreams out to people just speculatively, tentatively just to say "I've
always wanted to run a marathon" for example. Now most people in
response to that would poo poo it and say don't be ridiculous you can't
even walk to the shops and back without feeling a bit out of breath.
Susan:
That's encouraging so that's a dream stealer then?
Deborah:
Yes absolutely, a dream stealer is someone who will take your dream away
before it's actually finished coming out of your mouth maybe. Whereas a
dream catcher would be what a coach would do. We would hold the dream
with the client and help them work out a way of getting there. We will
remain positive and non-judgmental throughout the whole process.
Susan:
How did you get involved in all this?
Deborah:
I used to work in financial services for a long time for 11 or 12 years
in sales and there was only one element actually of the industry that I
really enjoyed and that was developing people. When you see people excel
in any area of their life it is very rewarding, so I decided I wanted to
try and work just in this area if it was possible. I tried counselling
as I said earlier I thought that was a little too reflective for me.
Then I found a couple of coaching books read those, went on an
introductory course and then did a full home study course and qualified
as a coach that way.
Susan:
And how many people do you work alongside is it just you?
Deborah:
I have a private practice that I run on my own and I also work in
collaboration with other coaches when I do corporate contracts, because
also we work in the business field as well.
Susan:
Oh so you going into businesses and say so what's your big dream? Is it
like Bill Gates of Microsoft "I want a computer in every home" that
would have been his dream, so do you help businesses in that way? So
what business success have you had?
Deborah:
I tend to work with businesses not quite at such a high level as Bill
Gates, that would be nice, but with sales people that was my speciality
before I changed career. I work with individual sales people to raise
their level of performance and you get a lot of success with that. I
also work with leadership development, developing an individual's
leadership potential to again look for promotion.
Susan:
It must be quite interesting doing the personal and the business side as
well. And these phone conversations how many people would you have
saying make my dreams come true, how many of those would you do a day?
Deborah:
I would never do more than 3-4 a day because it's quite draining.
Susan:
And how long are you on the phone to someone at any one time?
Deborah:
It's normally about an hour.
Susan:
Ooh it's a long time, good heavens. You're telling them for an hour?
Deborah:
Talking to them and listening mainly.
Susan:
Do you ever sort of get fed up and think for goodness sake stop
snivelling and get yourself sorted out! Do you ever feel like that?
Deborah:
Interestingly no, maybe if I took my coaching hat of I might but it's
almost like a different persona that you slip into as a coach. I put my
coaching hat on and I'm totally non-judgmental, believe it or not and
unconditionally positive.
Susan:
The only reason I'm saying that is because it's so easy to fix other
people's lives. We always look in other people's lives and say "well if
I them I'd do this, this and this, why are they making such a fuss. They
just have to do that, that and that" I just wondered if you're ever
tempted to do that?
Deborah:
No because in your own experience when someone offers you advice it
usually grates doesn't it? When you feel fed up about something and you
just want to off-load it as a female. "I've had a terrible day, this
went wrong and that went wrong" what you don't want is for someone to
jump in and say "well you should have done this and you should have done
that" because that can make you feel defensive and almost aggressive
because somebody's trying to sort you out and put your problems straight
when actually you just want to be listened to quite a lot of the time.
Susan:
And tell me about the Mentoring for The Prince's Trust, you do life
coaching but you do mentoring as well what's the difference.
Deborah:
Well mentoring can be a little bit more directive and as a business
mentor you are called upon to provide some kind of business experience.
My background was in financial services as I mentioned and I was a sales
manager and then I was a director of an estate agents so I was involved
in running the actual company. So I have quite a detailed understanding
of how to run a business. With mentoring it's a combination, there is
some coaching because you want to keep a very strong and positive
relationship but also you are providing some business acumen to the
mentee.
Susan:
So these young people are actually setting up a business with grants
from the Prince's Trust and you give them an idea, is more of the same
really isn't it?
Deborah:
Yes, it's a natural extension of what I already do and that's why it's
so nice.
Susan:
What sorts of things are they setting up?
Deborah:
I'm working with a chap who's a VJ.
Susan:
What's that?
Deborah:
A visual jockey, this is new and trendy! He provides the pictures and
the backdrop for a disc jockey in a nightclub or at a special event.
Because people are wanting more of the visual as well as the sound these
days to create an even better atmosphere if you like.
Susan:
That's interesting. Anything else?
Deborah:
There are lots of different businesses. Ladies working with jewellery,
lots of plumbers, electricians, window cleaners, a completely diverse
range of businesses are setting up. There are some really unusual ones
like the VJing, which I'd never heard of before.
Susan:
I've never heard of it before either. You've kept us up to date then
Deborah, that's very good. What are your dreams?
Deborah:
One of my dreams is actually to live abroad.
Susan:
Where would you like to live?
Deborah:
I thought I wanted to live in California until I went there for three
weeks and then I changed my mind. I think that is one of the key things,
we have this idea of what it would be like to live abroad and I think
you have to go and experience it for at least a few weeks or months
before you can know for sure if it's really going to pan out how you
think.
Susan:
There's that television programme where they take people abroad for a
couple of weeks and they can stay there, have you seen that?
Deborah:
Yes I have there are a number of programmes like this springing up now
aren't there. We're fascinated because a lot of us at some level either
want to work or live abroad.
Susan:
So you don't want to go to L.A. anymore so where do you want to go now?
Deborah:
I think probably somewhere a bit closer the Mediterranean maybe. I'd
like a warmer climate I think we all would.
Susan:
Would you want to work at all?
Deborah:
Yes I think I would really, I think I'd always want to work.
Susan:
So who's helping you?
Deborah:
I have my own coach I think that's essential to keep me on track.
Susan:
Do you? How long have you been with your coach?
Deborah:
I've just evolved to a new coach. I had a coach for the first year and
I've just changed. I think as you go through life your requirements do
change and so I think it's necessary to re-evaluate.
Susan:
How do you go about finding a coach that suits you Deborah?
Deborah:
The internet's a really good place, because the difficulty with adverts
in magazines is that you get a tiny snippet of what the coach is about
if you can follow that up by looking at their website you can get a much
more detailed feel for where this person is coming from. Coaching can be
so diverse you can have real extremes in coaching from very directive
and assertive to a very passive, relaxed type of coach and everything in
between.
Susan:
What are you?
Deborah:
I think I probably sit in the middle somewhere.
Susan:
If someone wanted to use you as a coach how would they go about it?
Deborah:
They can have a look on my website www.acoachforlife.co.uk or they can
telephone me.
Susan:
Presumably it's not for life; it's for as long as it takes. What's the
shortest time you've had someone come to you for?
Deborah:
I've had someone come for one session and seen significant changes. You
can be coached for as long or as short as you need.
Susan:
What's the longest?
Deborah:
My longest coaching relationship is probably 8-9 months.
Susan:
At the end of that do you say it's about time you got your dreams sorted
out!
Deborah:
I let them decide.
Susan:
I take my hat off to you not getting impatient and saying "for goodness
sake get a grip, 9 months and we're still talking about your dream. Get
it sorted!" You don't do that then? I'll take your word for it. Is there
a telephone number?
Deborah:
Yes its 0117 910 9240.
Susan:
It's been a great pleasure to have you on the radio. Thank you very much
Deborah.
BODY IMAGE AND
SELF ESTEEM
(Press Release December 2003)
Poor body image and low self esteem
used to be predominantly a female phenomenon but with the advent of so
many “male glossies” and general advertising hype the average male is
now spending nearly as much on grooming products as his female
counterpart. We have entered a time of preoccupation with our physical
appearance and are constantly being presented with unrealistic role
models to emulate. We are being told to love ourselves from within and
our inner beauty will shine through. But how? A combination of
techniques and actions can be used to give a balanced approach to
conquering a poor body image or low self esteem; here are some ideas for
how to tackle it.
It is very important to have an
appreciation of your early attitudes towards your body image and the
social conditioning you experienced through childhood this will have had
an enormous effect on your thinking patterns in adult life. Cast your
mind back to some of the comments you used to hear as a child. Can you
remember some of the phrases that were regularly used perhaps by your
parents or siblings? The school yard taunts that haunt you to this day?
Take a piece of paper and write down what you remember hearing together
with any facial expressions that accompanied the comment, the feelings
you experienced at that time, any physical sensations, smells, touch
etc. Let’s bring these moments back to life before burying them forever!
You may have heard comments as simple as “don’t be stupid”, “stop
showing off”, “why aren’t you more like your sister”, “rugby players
legs” – not necessarily a compliment for a woman, “thunder thighs”,
“fatty”, etc. These phrases will echo around your subconscious forever
unless they are released. Now take your list and give it a ritual send
off, you might choose to burn it, shred it, drown it or bury it but it
needs to symbolise a real end to those memories.
We have to reach an acceptance
with the information we have been fed and recognise that we can re-programme
ourselves to see things differently. No-one is perfect and it’s the
appreciation of our differences that leads to true personal growth.
Practice seeing the beauty in everything and not making direct
comparisons with yourself. Everyone has strengths and attributes that we
should admire and not envy including you!
We will look at improving your
self confidence and body image from two perspectives. Firstly the
external viewpoint. We need to be practical and realistic and this means
taking a long hard look at our selves in the mirror and considering ways
in which we can enhance our natural features. This may be to have a
quality haircut, buy a flattering new outfit, have a beauty treatment,
get a make over or commit to some form of enjoyable exercise. You can
give yourself a quick boost by making the most of your known physical
attributes.
Now let’s ask the people who know
you best what they think. Choose between 5-10 family members, friends
and work colleagues to each write down your 5 best physical features and
your 5 best personality traits. Once you have their responses collate
them all on one piece of paper and display this prominently where you
will see it every day. This will stand as a constant reminder of what
the outside world sees and loves about you.
Some people’s self esteem is so
low that even when they do receive compliments they don’t seem to be
able to be able accept them as genuine and some actually consciously
block them out as if they haven’t heard them at all. These people find
it very difficult to receive compliments and eventually people begin to
lose enthusiasm in paying them positive attention, which becomes a self
fulfilling prophecy. When receiving a compliment the first rule is to
say thank you and if you’re feeling brave enough why not pay them a
compliment back. This moves the conversation on and doesn’t allow you to
feel uncomfortable. This mutual admiration will lead to the other person
wanting to repeat the enjoyable experience and you’ll no doubt receive
more of the same over time.
Compliments often easily
dissipate and are lost from our short term memory. It is thought that it
takes 4 compliments to neutralise one insult, I believe it could be as
high as 10 – 1 for some people and so you should keep a written record
of your positive feedback to refer to when it’s been a tough day. This
would take the form of a positive evidence journal. This is a small
notebook that you carry around with you whenever possible and in here
you will record all the positive comments you receive during the course
of a day. Treat it as a bit of fun and don’t share the contents with
anyone initially, this is your secret stash of confidence. Watch out for
every bit of positivity that is coming your way and try to write it down
as soon as possible word for word with the name of the giver beside it.
You must ensure you make at least one entry every day. This will train
you to spot the good stuff wherever it pops up.
In addition to this we need to
start to recognise any negative self talk that may be muttering away to
you all day and chipping away at your confidence. This is the little
gremlin that may say things to you like “who do you think you are”,
“you’re not good enough to do that”, “get real you’ll never look as good
as that”, etc. This little guy is not helpful and we need to develop an
awareness of when he is trying to bring you down. For this I would ask
that you wear something on your wrist that you otherwise would not. This
could be a bracelet, bangle, switch your watch to the other wrist or
simply a rubber band. From now on whenever you hear that negative voice
making a comment you must just touch or flick your bracelet and nip the
thought in the bud there and then. Initially this may take real effort
but keep practising it will only get easier. This will bring it into
consciousness and stop the flow before it gets started. Over time you
will train yourself not to even allow these thoughts to surface and this
will have a major impact on your self esteem.
Finally a very familiar yet
successful technique is still the use of positive affirmations. These
are statements that you say out loud each day to retrain your
subconscious. They should be positive, present tense and say what you
really want for yourself in the near future, for example: “I am
beautiful inside and out” or “I am confident and handle difficult
situations with ease”, “I am a size 12 and clothes look great on me”.
You should say these out loud to yourself in the mirror each morning
before you start your day and preferably again at lunchtime and at night
before going to be. Your subconscious cannot tell the difference between
what’s real and what you tell it is real; therefore it will hear these
messages and will act accordingly. If you start to behave in a way that
is not in line with your affirmations it will set your conscious and
subconscious in to conflict this will act as your conscience and
encourage you to behave in a way that supports your positive future. It
is thought that the average person needs to repeat an action 17 times
before it becomes a permanent habit, please persevere with these
techniques for at least that time and you should see a marked
difference.
These tools are all relatively
simple but if you introduce all of them the results should be very
powerful and very quick acting. Here’s a quick checklist of what you
need to do:
- List and then destroy the
early memories of negative feedback.
- Start recognising the beauty
in others without comparison.
- Take
some steps to improve your physical appearance.
- Get family and friends to list
5-10 positives about you.
- Accept compliments with a
thank you and reciprocate.
- Keep an evidence journal.
- Use an item on your wrist to
raise your awareness of your own negative self talk and nip it in the
bud.
- Use positive affirmations.
- Keep an open mind to these
techniques.
- Persevere for at least 17 days
until the new habits are formed.
And don’t forget to accept the
positive feedback you receive from people as they see you start to
change! Poor body image and low self esteem are predominantly in the
mind not in the mirror.
A GUIDE TO
LIFE COACHING
(Press Release July 2003)
We are hearing a great deal about
Life Coaching these days in the media, so what’s it all about?
We asked our resident Life Coach
Deborah Parker and this is what she said. “My job as a coach is to help
people choose their most fulfilling, enjoyable and successful life. Once
they’ve chosen the future they deserve I work with them to turn it into
a reality. Life is a matter of choice not chance. Consciously or
subconsciously we have made the choices that have brought us to this
place in our lives right now. The path you take will bring a range of
learning experiences which are necessary to our personal growth. We all
need to develop an unconditional acceptance of the journey we have
traveled to this point and to appreciate that this is what has made us
the unique people we are now.
Coaching focuses on the present
and the future, using the individual’s history as a point of reference
only, not as an essential indicator to their life’s outcome. It’s about
moving forward and fulfilling your potential. We all have a natural gift
that needs unwrapping and nurturing into fruition. Coaching is a process
of self discovery that encourages the consideration of new perspectives
and will challenge any limiting or destructive thinking patterns that
may restrict the individual’s progress. Once these limiting beliefs have
been resolved the client is free to focus on their strengths and build
the confidence to face the challenges that lead to real personal
development and growth. I liken coaching to the peeling of an onion. We
work through the surface issues, peeling away the layers and removing
the obstacles that keep you stuck until you reach the core of what
you’re really about and what you really want from your life. It enables
the individual to get the clarity and focus they need to establish their
direction and then take action. The coach will then provide the
structure and accountability for the individual to turn this into
results.
The coach’s role is that of an
objective friend, who will walk alongside you through the most
challenging times, championing your cause and congratulating you
unconditionally on your successes. I believe that we all have the
capability already within us to find our life’s purpose and be truly
happy.
The fundamental principles of
Life Coaching are to provide a non-judgmental, supportive and
confidential environment for its clients. Many of us don’t give
ourselves the time to stop and reflect on our lives, how we got to where
we are now and how we are going to get to the place we would like to be.
Coaching gives the client time dedicated specifically to thinking,
planning and self analysis”.
Here are some of the areas where
people may call in the services of a coach:
- Poor body image or low
self esteem
- Lack of purpose or
direction in life
- Relationship problems
- Wanting to achieve a
specific goal or dream
- Building a business
- Getting back in control
of their lives
- Work / life balance
- Career development or
progression
Tips to finding a Coach
1. Check out their
qualifications. Most coaches have a formal accreditation from a Coaching
School, which demonstrates that they have followed a comprehensive
training programme of development and assessment.
2. Ask about their experience.
How long have they been coaching, Can they provide references of
satisfied clients?
3. How much do they charge?
Coaches charge either by the session or on a monthly retainer. Fees for
coaching vary dramatically from as little as £30 per session to £100’s
depending on the coach’s client profile.
4. Most importantly however, you
should feel comfortable talking to your coach. Your coaching sessions
should be challenging but enjoyable experiences. You will be building an
ongoing relationship with this person and need to establish mutual trust
and respect.
5. A good place to look for a
prospective coach would be on the internet. Here you can browse and
compare the many varied styles of coaches that are available. Also a
very valuable way to find a coach is through word of mouth, you may be
surprised at how many people now employ a coach, ask around.
You can meet Deborah at one of
her seminars held in Bristol on the 6th September, 11th October and 22nd
November.
ARE
YOU A DREAM CATCHER OR DREAM STEALER?
(Press Release May 2003)
Deborah Parker, from Bristol,
believes everyone has it in them to reach their full potential and to
follow their dreams. However, sometimes other people can ridicule those
dreams and ‘steal’ them. Her job is to help people recapture those
dreams and start to pursue them.
Deborah Homes is a Bristol based
life coach who is also a mentor for the Prince’s Trust. She works with
people who admit they need help to change their lives and discover what
is really important to them.
Those that have benefited from
her life coaching vary from people who have low self esteem or lack
confidence, to those who simply want to achieve a life-long goal they
previously thought impossible.
According to Deborah the most
difficult step for many is recognising the need for a life coach.
“For many people their greatest
fear is that of change,” explains Deborah. “For some, change is
synonymous with disruption and discomfort. It doesn’t have to be that
way. If tackled in small steps it can be truly exhilarating!”
Deborah tailors the coaching
sessions to meet the needs of her clients. She works with them to
identify and achieve their goals. A typical session normally lasts up to
an hour and takes place either face-to-face or over the telephone.
Deborah’s unique approach to life coaching ensures that clients are
pleased with the results.
“I liken coaching to peeling away
the layers of an onion. The client has to resolve their basic needs
before being able to uncover and work on their deeper desires. I want to
encourage them to have the most joyful life they possibly can”.
She provides each client with the
individual support and focus they need until their specific goals are
met.
Right now, Deborah is offering a
free 15-minute telephone consultation for potential clients to discover
whether life coaching could help them.
A GUIDE
TO LIFE COACHING
(Press Release April 2003)
We are hearing a great deal about
Life Coaching these days in the media, so what’s it all about?
Life Coaching originates in the
USA and was brought to this country around 5-6 years ago. In the words
of Curly Martin, “The Life Coach uses the power of commitment to enable
their clients to achieve beneficial and measurable results in all areas
of their lives. Life Coaching is a holistic process that has the power
to balance and harmonise life.”
The fundamental principles of
Life Coaching are to provide a non-judgmental, supportive and
confidential environment for its clients. Coaching enables the client to
get the clarity and focus they need to establish their direction and
then take action. Many of us don’t give ourselves the time to stop and
reflect on our lives, how we got to where we are now and how we are
going to get to the place we would like to be. Coaching gives the client
time dedicated specifically to thinking, planning and self analysis. The
coach will then provide the structure and accountability for the client
to turn this into results.
Life Coaching is a journey of
self discovery, where you will be encouraged to consider new
perspectives and revisit your values and beliefs. Limiting or
destructive thinking patterns are stripped away to allow the individual
to focus on their strengths and have the confidence to face the
challenges that lead to real personal development and growth.
Some of the key attributes of a
good coach are that they will remain non-judgmental, supportive,
positive and confidential at all times. I liken the coach’s role to that
of an objective friend, who will walk alongside you through the most
challenging times, championing your cause and congratulating you
unconditionally on your successes. The coach believes that you have the
capability already within you to find your life’s purpose and be truly
happy. The coach will work with you to find the key to your long term,
sustained joy.
Here are some of the areas where
people may call in the services of a coach:
- Poor body image or low
self esteem
- Lack of purpose or
direction in life
- Relationship problems
- Wanting to achieve a
specific goal or dream
- Building a business
- Getting back in control
of their lives
- Work / life balance
- Career development or
progression
Tips to finding a Coach
1. Check out their
qualifications. Most coaches have a formal accreditation from a Coaching
School, which demonstrates that they have followed a comprehensive
training programme of development and assessment.
2. Ask about their experience.
How long have they been coaching, do they run a full or part time
practice. Can they provide references of satisfied clients?
3. How much do they charge?
Coaches charge either by the hour or by the session. Fees for coaching
vary dramatically from as little as £30 per hour up to £100’s or even
£1,000’s depending on the coach’s client profile.
4. Most importantly however, you
should feel comfortable talking to your coach. Your coaching sessions
should be challenging but enjoyable experiences. You will be building an
ongoing relationship with this person and need to establish mutual trust
and respect.
5. There is no comprehensive body
for the coaching industry as yet, so a good place to look for a
prospective coach would be on the internet. Here you can browse and
compare the many varied styles of coaches that are available. Also a
very valuable way to find a coach is through word of mouth, you may be
surprised at how many people now employ a coach, ask around.
SPRING CLEAN YOUR LIFE
(Press Release 17 February 2003)
Spring cleaning has its origins in
ancient history. The early civilisations used the improved weather
conditions as the first opportunity for a complete clear out of the home
or dwelling after the long winter months.
Since then, the tradition has been
maintained but now it’s called Life Coaching, and is in effect, spring
cleaning for your life. Life Coaching is rapidly increasing in
popularity and acceptance as a means to support any individual through
significant life changes or the achievement of stretching goals.
According to Deborah Parker of
Downend, life coaching is the most effective way to brush away your
personal cobwebs and get your life ship shape and ready for a fresh new
start. It involves taking stock of where you are now, where you want to
be and how you are going to get there.
Deborah is a professionally
trained and certified Life Coach who helps her clients to do just that.
Using a step by step process over a course of coaching sessions she
works with the client to enable them to focus on what’s important and
fulfilling in their lives and helps them get it.
She continues: “In the same way
that our homes can become musty during the winter months and often would
benefit from a lick of paint, so our lives can become stale and in need
of rejuvenation. Life coaching will help clear away the mental and
physical clutter leaving space for new and exciting challenges.
In the same way that the onset of
spring can often be the catalyst that triggers a sudden burst of
domestic activity, so a life coach can be the catalyst for amazing and
positive changes to happen.
LOVE
TO BE LOVED (Press Release 29 January 2003)
This is the month when love is in
the air, but it can be a difficult time for people looking for love.
According to Deborah Parker of
Downend, to truly find love, you must learn to love yourself. It sounds
a little clichéd but low self esteem is one of the most debilitating
factors when trying to build relationships. If you don’t recognise and
appreciate your own strengths you may find it hard to allow others to
love you. At best it can make you doubt any expressions of love or
affection you receive and at worst it can even make you repel those who
want to be near you.
Healthy self-esteem is the ability
to acknowledge your good points and not obsess on your faults. It means
looking into the mirror and seeing a person with great potential and
someone who is worthy of love and happiness.
Self-esteem issues are frequently
self fulfilling prophecies, you convince yourself that you are not
attractive and you in turn do not project a warm and engaging
impression. Once you turn the corner and start seeing yourself as that
wonderful human being worthy of great things, including a happy and
supportive relationship you will project an enthusiasm and
approachability which will be irresistible.
It is important to look at your
strengths and achievements but also to work on your perceived
development areas. As a Coach I would work with the client to elevate
their positives and design an action plan to tackle their development
areas.
A quick esteem booster: ask the
people closest to you to list your top 5 strengths and achievements and
offer to write of theirs in return. You may be surprised by how much
mutual admiration and respect you have for each other. Keep those
positive comments with you at all times and refer to them if you feel
your esteem dipping.
We are all born with a healthy and
balanced awareness of ourselves. What subsequently happens is that we
remember all the negative things that others say about us and these
swamp our opinions about the good qualities that we have. Decide to
focus your impression of yourself on what you truly know to be true and
practice believing in yourself.
RESOLUTION
(Press Release 04 December 2002)
How to keep
your new years resolution every time
We’ve all made New Year
resolutions, may be struggled with them for a few days, made ourselves
miserable and given up and reverted to our old habits.
Sure, we may manage to keep the
odd resolution during our life but, for most it is a losing battle. Now
Deborah Parker from Bristol says she has the answer that can ensure you
keep every resolution without fail.
According to Deborah, we could all
benefit from this simple method. The key lies in that word ‘resolution’.
She suggests that when we make these promises to ourselves, we should
drop the ‘re’ part of the word and focus on the ‘solution’.
Deborah is a professionally
trained Life Coach and she tells us that many of her clients benefit
from this simple change to their thinking. “Consider why people make
resolutions. It is usually because there is some aspect of their lives
that they want to change for the better. Then, instead of focusing on
the great benefits they will achieve by making this change, they focus
on what they are giving up and so fail.”
Deborah adds. “It is important to
concentrate on the positive results, the value this will add to your
life and not what you are missing.”
Deborah also offers some pointers
about why so many people struggle to make changes. There are two main
reasons. The first is that they try and change the habits of a lifetime
overnight, this abrupt shift is very difficult for the mind and body to
work with, potentially creating ‘cold turkey’ (pardon the pun) like
symptoms. The second is that they attempt to do it alone. The
inspiration and support of a non-judgmental and uncritical third party
is crucial to a positive, sustained outcome.
Many coaching clients think that
setting the resolution is all that it needs. Deborah will spend time
fully exploring the client’s reason for change before helping them
define the strategies to achieve their goals. She will work through the
steps needed to achieve success with the client, providing that
essential support and accountability until the new solution is complete.
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